Thanksgiving Munchies: Tactics for Secretive Stoners

 

The Greater the Risk, the Greater the Reward

 

Everyone has their creature comforts when it comes to munchies: nachos, cereal, Hot Cheetos, leftover pizza; I could go on and on! Over the years, stoners have become more and more creative with their munchie gastronomy. For generations, pot users have passed down tales of these vehicles for melted cheese and savory hot sauce. In other words, an oral history of recipes and secret menus spawning cultural phenomena. Entire fast-food meals have been created and curated for this very demographic. Yet, here in the month of Thanksgiving, we’re gifted with one mystic meal that has eluded so many starving stoners.

The mother of all munchie meals. The apex of stoned snacking. The apogee of baked binging.

You know I’m talking about Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

A familial buffet of stock-soaked stuffing, endless potato permutations, sweet can-ridged cranberry sauce, and of course the epicurean protagonist!

You could bake it, roast it, grill it, smoke it… even sous vide it! At the end of the meal, the showstopper will always be the turkey pronounced (toy-kee)!

There is only one thing keeping millions of hungry high folks around the nation from joining in on this sacred ritual: not every household is ecstatic about “Mama’s little baby” getting absolutely baked before a family event. 

We believe stigmas about cannabis will be considered as ancient as prohibition in Thanksgivings to come, but in November of 2021, the folks at Kanha aren’t going to leave you hanging.

Here are some helpful

Thanksgiving Tactics for Secretive Stoners

 

1. Get Rid of Those Red Eyes

 

This is going to be the first thing that gives you up. This little feature of cannabis use could be the stiff arm keeping you away from the feast of your dreams. If you’re old school, I don’t even need to tell you about the power of Rohto Maximum Redness Relief Eye Drops. They’re a classic and are as commonplace as a lighter and roll paper in the house of a stoner. All this to say, it’s 2021 and I come bearing news of the future! Those that have tried Lumify Redness Reliever Eye Drops know its power. Although these drops are over the counter, they use brimonidine, which instantly relieves eye redness with zero side effects. Also, they last considerably longer than your average eye drops, with one drop giving you 8 hours of relief.

A side note: All products mentioned in this list are unpaid advertisements. If we mention a product, we just like it!

2. Find a Secret Stash For Your Hash

 

I think we’ve all thought a hollowed-out book would be a super cool spot to store our pot. However, we’re not all Bond villains, and a sudden interest in great works of literature is going to bring unwanted questions. The key here is finding a spot out of reach from kids and cousins and an area away from the thoroughfare of the rest of the household. Every situation is different, but the same principles apply: you must hide the smell! I’d recommend a brand like Herb Guard. It’s small enough that you could hide it in drawers or computer bags, but airtight and completely smell-proof! This seems like an obvious tip, but hiding your weed properly is going to give you some sweet peace of mind when chowing down on Thursday’s annual super supper.

4. “The Thanksgiving Walk”

 

Everyone with cousins might have a good idea of what I’m talking about here. No matter how you do it, smoking or vaping in the house is going to be a little risky. This is where the years-long tradition, spanning siblings and cousins alike, has come into play. Through neighborhoods, suburban streets, even wooded walking trails, cousins have been taking walks to smoke weed for generations! A great way to get some much-needed bonding with the canna-sseurs in your family away from the prying eyes of less progressive relatives.

 

5. Cover the Scent!

 

In the year 2021, just about everyone is familiar with the smell of pot. Whether it’s on your clothes or in the air (if you were so bold), that skunky musk is going to give you away. Fear not my friends, you have a few options here. For your own scent, we recommend a quick rinse with mouthwash followed by a moderate spray of some commonly used perfume or cologne. Just as simple as you would think!

 

If you’ve made the choice to smoke indoors, we actually have some advice for that as well. In the olden days, many folks would use what’s called a “sploof:” a MacGyver device made using a paper towel roll with dryer sheets stuffed inside. The concept is simple: take a hit from your joint or vape and exhale into the tube like a giant filter. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “There’s got to be something a little more sophisticated for purchase on the cannabis market?” With advances in stoner technology, modern stoners have been blessed with professional sploofs such as the Smoke Buddy.

Folks that prefer vaping might be interested to know about the existence of Philter, a device that aims to eliminate secondhand smoke and smell. Just like a sploof for vapes, Philter takes the “clouds” produced from vaping and reduces their effect on the environment and on those in close proximity.

 

6. Eat Your Weed

 

By this I mean: take some edibles, baby! The use of edibles solves just about every problem presented by our list. They transport easily, have no smell upon use, and can be covertly consumed just about anywhere. Never before could you look a parent in the eye while getting high. For all they know it’s a vitamin, just don’t let them ask for any! With this in mind, tolerance is crucial for edible use so if you’re new to edibles, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to test your milligram dosage a few days before Thanksgiving Thursday.

For a more consistent experience, I’d recommend going with KANHA NANO. The onset is fast and the dosing makes it an extremely wholesome experience all around. Depending on your comfort level, KANHA NANO comes in 5mg or 10mg dosing options.

 

 

Take these stoner tips and go forth into the world! Spread the good news of reefer and roast turkey, hash and hash browns, ganja and green bean casserole!

Like the turkeys in ovens all across the country, we too are getting super baked this year.